Two Days

I have been in Kansas for two days and if feels like two weeks. So much to do, so much to think, so much to say. My entire family is here (even my mother) which is wonderful and trying all at once. I fondly remember the time I had with my Dad when it was just he and I. I felt I had the time to talk, to ease into a conversation, to sit quietly with him and know that our silence spoke volumes. I now have to share and that is difficult. It has always been difficult to share my father. I grew up with so little time with him and now feel as if I have less. I ask why I didn't move sooner, I look at him and see little pieces of myself, I look at him and see big pieces that I wish I had. This is an extremely confusing time and in that way I am happy to have support and help. We will know much more tomorrow about weather this new treatment is working and I am excited and filled with fear. One note of advice to people, DON'T LOOK AT ME WITH BIG SAD PUPPY EYES, he is not dead and may not even be dying! He is fighting and I am in his corner until the bitter end!